1. Nothing’s Enough: A mother’s tribute to her lost son.

    March 28, 2011 by mediaforce

  2. Healing Sexual Recovery… The Tantric Touch…Dakini Bliss.. (613) 878-8179

    by mediaforce

    There are two main obstacles to experiencing Bliss.

    One is the many layers of associations, mental symbols we hold between ourselves and the sexual experience.
     In other words, he’s screwing a Hollywood fantasy. She’s making love to a a guitar, a Harley Davidson or a huge diamond!

    The other is the “body memory” of past trauma and the resulting hypersensitivity (body armour) or lost sensitivity, numbness. This is caused by many things, from poor toilet training to circumcision and molestation. It is the physical manifestation of the mental attitude to sexuality, which is in turn mostly due to wrong mental associations.

    There’s a built in cure. Nature provides the mechanism for healing – your eroticism. Your eroticism draws you towards experiences that have healing potential for you. That can reawaken memories, evoke the re-experiencing of events, traumas that you have suppressed.

    Taken with awareness, your sexual experience can become transcendent. Encouraging this is the work of a Tantrika, a Dakini. She’s a rare blend of goddess and muse. Her love of you – the you behind your mind’s masks – is total and unswerving. Her heartfelt truthfulness with your mind/ego and fantasies is absolute.

    A Dakini is conscious with her own sexuality, and teaches you how to become conscious with yours. Key repressions are revealed and the attendant body armouring is gently removed,
    The process requires a deep trust and willingness to experience intimacy.
    This trust is akin to the trust required with any healer. She knows what she’s doing, what’s required. You need to trust the unfolding of your process.
    Tantra isn’t for everyone. Yes everyone can benefit by approaching sex with more awareness, more sensitivity, but the psychologically powerful energies of tantric practice are not for nervous nellies. If you want to take your ego seriously, forget it.

    Commitment is vital, as well as having the mental flexibility of a true seeker.

    HEALING SESSIONS WITH DAKINI involve nudity, massage, intimacy AND ecstasy. 

    • Techniques similar to massage, bodywork & reiki are used to address the effects of repression in the body and chakras.
    • Lost sensitivity is restored as body armour is gently removed.
    • Awareness in and of your sexuality is encouraged with meditation techniques.

      A consultation, to get an idea of your experience, and which areas of work you require is arranged, where I answer your questions about tantra, and what practices would benefit you. 
      In these sessions, your Kundalini energy is encouraged, and the blockages are eased, or temporarily bypassed.
      This helps you to identify your blocks as the Dakini facilitates your identifying and continuing with your own healing work. The Dakini uses a combination of touch and energy work, similar to Bodywork, Reiki and  Qi Gong. The healing work itself depends on your repressions, and how they present in your body armour.
      You are responsible for your own movement and healing work… it’s your life, your journey. You can only work effectively with a Dakini if you have  a trust, a willingness to take her “medicine” and go where it takes you.
      There’s no belief system required. I work with methods, not ideas. You may view your sexuality as a compartment, an area of your life. It isn’t. It’s the source, in an energetic and physical sense, of your life energy. Working with it, releasing it, healing it has deep and profound effects on the whole of your life.
      The Dakini, like any healing practitioner, diagnoses, treats, prescribes and recommends what her intuition, training and experience indicate is right for you. She has the right to discontinue working with you, if you don’t follow her recommendations.
      The appropriate and archetypically correct approach, attitude to a Dakini is devotion. The same as an artist’s, a poet’s devotion to his Muse. Working with sexual energy is intense emotionally, psychologically. It is not necessary to the process that you “like it”. You are asking someone to help you wake up, and to use perhaps the most powerful methods known to do it. It will be intense, deliberately shattering to mindset and ego, but lovingly supportive of you, the beyond-ego, essential you.

      Part of Dakini’s freedom is that love is the most natural phenomenon in the world. Indeed,  existence itself is Love.
      A large part of the work I do with you is called “opening the heart“.  This expands your ability to experience love. Constrictions based in your judgments, preconceptions and fears will be evoked, exposed to your conscious awareness and transcended. Whatever it takes.
      Love does hurt, though when it does, it’s still undeniably love. Meditation techniques to help you move through this will be recommended. Running (30 minutes minimum), hitting a punch bag, strangling or even raping a pillow, dancing (without e) are also highly recommended for emotional release. It’s daunting, facing the fear of opening your heart, falling in love, deeply, without a safety net. The Dakini is not seducing you into loving her. She’s seducing you into loving existence itself. She stands in for and makes the Goddess available.
      If you are in a sexually exclusive relationship, and both interested, sessions with me can be arranged. I will lovingly guide you to blissful discoveries with each other, and introduce you to healing techniques which you can practice together.

      New to tantra?  I usually recommend that you start with group work. If you’ve already done individual work, just get in touch, and let your bliss begin.

    • Taoist Tantric Erotic Massage wih Shakti Shen

      March 20, 2011 by mediaforce

      Practice this at home!

    • Sacred Sexuality Tantra: Circle of Radiance Puja

      by mediaforce


    • Tantra & Sexual Awareness…613 878-8179

      March 18, 2011 by mediaforce

      Tantric sex is meditative, spontaneous and intimate lovemaking. Tantra teaches you to prolong the act of making love and to focus on, rather than dispel, potent orgasmic energies moving through you, thus raising level of your consciousness.

      Tantra transports sexuality from simply doing to actually being.

       There is no final sexual goal in Tantra, only the present moment of an ideal, harmonious union. Tantra teaches you to worship your sexual partner and to transform the act of sex into a sacrament of love.

      Lovemaking between two partners, when entered with awareness, can be a gateway to sexual and spiritual ecstasy alike. Tantra, through sex, attempts to awaken powerful psychic energies within through which we can enter into higher states of consciousness.

      The Power Of Ecstasy

      Imagine…you and your lover merging the dual nature of your sexualities into an ecstatic union through lovemaking.
      Tantra  teaches you both how to merge your sexual energies into a ball of ecstatic bliss.

      As sexual beings, we have the ability to raise the energy levels within our bodies and use it to experience mystical states of consciousness. In effect, we become “gods” of our own bodies. Tantra will help you transcend the boundaries of your mind, using sexuality and energy.

      Sexual Positions Of The Kama Sutra

      The flower in bloom…She draws up both of her knees until they nestle the curves of her breasts; her feet find your armpits. She cups and lifts her buttocks with her palms, spreads her thighs and places her heels next to her hips, while you caress her breasts.

      Sounds difficult? Practice makes perfect.

      The jewel case…Your legs should run parallel to hers, joining them from toes to thighs. Your woman can remain below you or you can lie side by side, in which case she should always be on your left.

      To add a twist to the element, your thighs can be interlaced as you squeeze each other in a pulsating rhythm… called “The Squeeze.”

      The rustic…Get her to lie on her back with both her thighs pressed tightly together and make love to her, keeping your thighs outside hers. Because the vagina ends up embracing and engulfing the penis in its entirety, it becomes quite enjoyable.

      Striking…She is in a sitting position with raised thighs; her feet should be placed on either side of your waist. When you penetrate her, forcefully push your entire penis in and out of her.

      The cat…Have your woman lie on her stomach and grab hold of her ankles in your right hand and lift them high up. While you make love to her rub her face, neck and between her chest with your other hand.

      The tripod…While standing against or near a wall, firmly lift one of her knees with your hand and make love to her; leave her hands free to explore and caress your body.

      The buffet…While she’s lying on the edge of a flat surface, withdraw your penis completely from her vagina, and then penetrate her wholly..one shot. Do this  until she can orgasm.

      Always Keep In Mind… Maintain eye contact with your partner and allow yourself to feel with more than just your penis. Your entire existence should be involved in the process. And your soul, according to Tantra, completes the experience.

      Communication is still the greatest key to a healthy sexual relationship.  Talk to her before, during and after your sessions. There’s much more to Tantra than what’s outlined here; do yourself a favor and learn as much about Tantra as you can.

    • Karezza..similar to Tantra…the Joy of Sex!

      March 16, 2011 by mediaforce

      What is Karezza?  It’s a gentle, loving form of intercourse in which orgasm is NOT the goal, and ideally does not occur in either partner while making love. Karezza gained its name from Alice Bunker Stockham, MD at the end of the 19th century. She based the name on the Italian word carezza, meaning “caress.”

      Stockham was initially inspired by the work of John Humphrey Noyes, who taught a concept he called, Male Continence, in which men opt to avoid ejaculation when conception is not desired. However, Stockham encouraged both partners to pass up orgasm, insisting that the practice is neither “male” nor “female.”
      Although Stockham and, later, J. William Lloyd, MD both wrote books about Karezza, readers often observe that the descriptions of the actual practice seem vague. This is because technique is virtually immaterial. It’s a practice about not doing, about getting your goal-driven mammalian mating program out of the way long enough to fall into a state of relaxed union. It’s more of an experience than a practice. As a result, each couple has a slightly different tale to tell.

      With that in mind, here are some suggestions based primarily on my own experiences. I did not start out trying to learn Karezza. I started out to learn what we could about making love without orgasm, and  when I read the original descriptions of Karezza, I saw that Tantra was closely aligned with Karezza.

      Karezza is not “regular sex” but without the orgasm.

      Although Karezza calls for intercourse, it’s unlike the intercourse Masters and Johnson observed in the lab, with its “restricted breathing” and “extreme muscle tension.” Stockham contrasted the “ordinary hasty spasmodic method of cohabitation” with Karezza:
      During a lengthy period of perfect control, the whole being of each is merged into the other, and an exquisite exaltation experienced. This may be accompanied by a quiet motion, entirely under subordination of the will, so that the thrill of passion for either may not go beyond a pleasurable exchange.
      Our emphasis is on affection, and we stay well away from the edge of orgasm. If we sense ourselves slipping into performance mode while making love, we pull ourselves back into relaxation with deeper, longer breaths. This relaxes our abdominal breathing and reverses the increase in muscular tension and the urge to restrict breathing that coincide with the buildup to orgasm.

      Regular foreplay doesn’t work with Karezza.

      Typical foreplay is geared toward heating yourself and your partner up with orgasm as the goal. The pleasures of Karezza do not rely on the rewards from approaching one’s own orgasm or inducing it in a lover. They depend on the rewarding feelings that come from mutual adoration and generous touch; i.e., bonding behaviors. Initially, Karezza  feels all wrong… too non-goal-oriented and relaxed.
      So, without standard foreplay, what do we do when we get in bed with each other? We found it helped to have some structure, because ingrained habits die hard. The more radically and thoroughly we alter our behavior when creating a new pathway in the brain, the easier it is to create one.
      One could stick to a pre-agreed list of bonding behaviors—and engage in them daily for a few minutes, or more, using a generous mindset. Some folks opt for a fixed 3-week program, the Exchanges, a series of sensual, lighthearted activities for adults.

      Intercourse is slower and more relaxed.

      It worked best to begin intercourse in a position that did not allow for much movement. Even so, it was  easy to escalate into familiar sex as we added intercourse to our nightly affection. My partner and I now  make sure we put “snuggle nights” in between “intercourse nights.” Snuggle nights are useful refresher courses for our nervous systems. Even a bit of cuddling provides relaxed satisfaction with no goal whatsoever. When we next have intercourse it is easier to stay in the tranquil mindset ideal for Karezza.
      As far as intercourse, we move far more slowly than we did during conventional sex. In addition, we fall into total stillness frequently while making love. Some of the most gratifying and profound experiences occur when not moving. As a result, our lovemaking goes in waves, somewhat like breathing. Erections also come and go—and arise again when we start kissing after a pause.
      We kiss and gaze into each other’s eyes. We also let each other know how loved we feel with wordless sounds of pleasure and reverent, or playful, touch. Sometimes we make a conscious effort to diffuse the sexual energy from our genitals throughout our bodies by tightening the muscles of our pelvic floor and breathing the energy up. When we close our eyes, we often see flashing lights in the 3rd-eye region of the forehead.
      We make love in very comfortable positions, where our weight is supported with a minimum of tension. Side-lying position, with my legs wrapped around him, is a favorite. We also sometimes fall asleep connected, which makes waking up especially enjoyable. Because we never “finish.” A flirty energy continues to flow outside the bedroom, which staves off habituation. 

      Done properly, Karezza relieves sexual tension.

      If you can’t resolve your sexual tension in a relationship, you are keenly motivated to add a lover on the side, or move on to a relationship where you can resolve it—at least temporarily. Sadly, the harder you try to resolve your frustration through better or more frequent orgasm with any partner, the more you trigger the sexual satiety that can push mates apart. You are programmed to be unable to find lasting sexual satisfaction with a mate by having more orgasms, because you have evolved to see a partner with whom you exhaust your sexual desire as less and less rewarding over time.
      With Karezza you ease your sexual tension without resorting to orgasm. Karezza leads to complete dissipation of congestion, complete discharge of nervous surplus, complete relief from sexual tension, and more complete satisfaction than orgasm.  Orgasmic sex tends to create local congestion and must find relief in orgasm, or create distress.
      Using Karezza’s gentle intercourse, one can make love for as long as need be until any sexual tension melts away entirely—as long as one doesn’t fall back into hungry behavior, or begin fighting by going close to the edge of orgasm. During lovemaking, the emphasis is on stillness and heart-centered feelings. If the energy begins to build into goal-oriented sensations, we simply relax back into stillness.
      The feelings during these quiet periods can be especially profound, as if we have entered a timeless cocoon of delighted contentment.
      I experience a “soul orgasm.” It’s not connected to reproductive sex in any way. It can be produced even without sex, although sex is a great way to produce it. As we gently make love, I imagine us both in a glowing ball of light. It’s as if our spirits have merged. For hours after this kind of sex session, if I think of my wife, the feeling of deep love refills me, just as if I were back in bed having sex. —Derrick
      Flirting with “the edge” can increase frustration, even if no one climaxes. Frustration equates with high dopamine, and whendopamine goes too high it can lead to tension, resentment, and subsequent cravings. Going too close to orgasm can also build congestion in the genitals, which may cause sharp pains. If you are fighting yourself, you are going too close to orgasm. If you are male, you are also putting unhealthy stress on your prostate gland. Relax!

      Karezza is effortless.

      I just couldn’t believe how effortless Karezza was. This man described it perfectly:
      For years I’d been doing Taoist-style sex with my wife with great results—using exercises, lovemaking techniques, and energy visualizations. But I decided to set it aside temporarily to learn more about Karezza. The first thing I noticed was that Karezza got the same results as my old Taoist practices. But Karezza required no specialized energy work. All I did was to remain nearly still while engaged in sex and breathed slow, deep breaths. I did nothing else. Anyone could do Karezza.
      I soon started to sense another feeling that I didn’t recognize…a deep, satisfying feeling…it was the oxytocin, the cuddle hormone. For me, it’s like peace and love all mixed up together…a sensation of being totally in love with life. —Serge
      feet of couple in bedKarezza works because bonding behaviors work. In fact, Karezza is a delicious, intimate, soothing bonding behavior. There is nothing mysterious about this, even though its effectiveness in relieving sexual tension may strike you as remarkable after you master it.
      A warm glow arose in the area between our navels and pubic hairline that just demanded that we lie there together motionless to feel the gentle warmth it was radiating. This went on for about 30 “timeless” minutes. Then slowly we inched toward nuzzling in the genital area. Very slowly we got to having intercourse sideways and it was amazing…lots of wetness to make it easy, and lots of control so no frenzy by either. We were both amazed and so loving in the stillness. It is a truly incredible experience. J. is delighted and feels so pleased that he didn’t feel the need to come, which has been a huge concern for him. It was such a powerful, loving experience. —Diane
      Sometimes Karezza is just gentle intercourse that leaves us refreshed and more balanced. Sometimes it’s an amazing, heart-opening experience for which we can hardly find words. The outcome is not in our control. All we can do is keep our biologically driven habits out of the way, and enjoy what bubbles up. Striving is counterproductive. We focus on comforting each other, not fanning sexual hunger.
      Karezza, with its emphasis on generous, non-goal-oriented affection, relies heavily on activating the body’s relaxation response. In contrast, ejaculatory sex is a function of the fight-or-flight (sympathetic nervous system) response. Regular sex is an athletic exercise. Your heart rate increases; you perspire. It’s like any other goal-directed activity, particularly when your survival is at stake. Indeed, biologically driven sex is exactly that. You are in performance mode, doing what needs to be done to survive (through passing on your genes).
      The body “reads” bonding behaviors (like Karezza) as signals for feeling safe and getting closer. In contrast, it may not “read” performance-oriented lovemaking as a bonding signal, but rather as something more akin to a fight-or-flight activity. This powerful drive produces orgasms, but not necessarily profound feelings of safety or a desire to remain close.

      Karezza’s effects are subtle and cumulative.

      Karezza can be a bit like watching paint dry at first…with the added joys of a companion and an increasing sense of well-being. It does not produce rapid, obvious results as a new foreplay technique might.   Instead its effects are cumulative. We needed several weeks of pleasant, but patient, consistency to see why we had made the effort to try it. During that time, we experienced a growing sense of empowerment, optimism, and connectedness with others. We felt as if we were “in the flow.” Yet these changes seemed so natural (and well-deserved), that it was easy to miss the link between cause and effect.
      The Karezza way doesn’t require climax by either man or woman, since it emphasizes intimacy, harmony, and unity. It also takes a lot of practice to make it work right, and the couple wishing to practice Karezza should be patient. It takes time to harmonize energy fields, emotions, rhythms, and responses between two persons. Expect to practice at least a dozen times before you begin to see increasingly delightful results. —Bernard Jensen, MD
      Karezza is a return to equilibrium. For some that may mean a few uncharacteristic naps, for others it will mean a welcome increase in libido. Either way, Karezza is not an attempt to recreate the intensity of honeymoon neurochemistry. The energy it produces is not “edgy,” but rather “lighthearted.” Indeed, it feels more like two dolphins frolicking…with or without clothes.  We laugh a lot, to find the right times to make love, and to enjoy hugging or touching each other at other times.
      Try Karezza for at least 3 weeks in order to compare the benefits with conventional sex. Otherwise, you may not taste what life is like beyond the ups & downs of the post-orgasmic passion cycle.
      We often learn the most about Karezza from our inadvertent departures from it. We never “go for” orgasm, but it happens occasionally. It’s the perfect reminder of why we stick with this practice. During the two weeks after an orgasm, we notice a temporary dimming of good feelings, and we are always delighted when, like clockwork, we come back into sync at the end of the cycle.

      In conclusion

      You may believe that you will feel more frustrated the longer you avoid orgasm. Yet if you experiment  with Karezza, using lots of generous affection, you are likely to find that this is not true.
      I have experienced great feelings of well-being after non-orgasmic sex over long periods of time. The contact with the person becomes the orgasm, the sexual contact becomes the orgasm, and then there is no need for orgasm. —Ben

      In our experience, there was little inner conflict while learning Karezza, as long we took a gradual approach and remembered to wallow luxuriantly in the soothing pleasures of touch and connection. As Karezza lovers, we grow more balanced, more sensitive to every pleasurable nuance. Certainly, we do more giggling and enjoy more harmony.

      Mostly, Karezza says to put each other first. As Bernard Jensen said in Love Sex & Nutrition, “To attain the most exalted state of happiness and fulfillment, it is necessary to help someone else get there, too.”

    • Coupes Puja..spring celebration..Tantric Touch..613 878-8179

      March 15, 2011 by mediaforce

      Let’s open our hearts and connect on a deeper level. 

      Come and celebrate Spring, as we explore the Art of Tanric Touch, and the Tao of sensual massage within the context of a spiritual healing ceremony. This is for those interested in sensual massage, and in a more advanced or deeper “tantric” healing experiences with a partner. This event is a “Puja”,i.e,  a sacred event. 

      Touch is so incredibly healing and delightful. You will have the opportunity to both give and receive a healing massage experience during this puja. This event will be a Celebration of our inner god and goddess. We will explore the healing power of touch, divine union and sensuality. We will be leading you through some delightful massage techniques and giving you the opportunity to connect deeply with your partner and to explore healing touch. We will begin with some fun ice breakers and a guided meditation We will demonstrate basic sensual massage techniques and then progress through various stations where you can explore a variety of connecting activities and massage techniques with your partner.

      This sacred, balanced healing session allows couples to renew & forge their intimate bonds.

      What to Bring: blankets, cushions and pillows to create a nest. We will NOT be using tables. Massage oil provided. 

      In this “Violet” Sacred Sensual SESSION, you may undress or partially undress to your own comfort level.  Nudity, sensual touch and exploration are allowed. You may expect soulful, playful, respectful and sensual connections with your partner. Communicate with your partner regarding boundaries and honor all boundaries including your own. 

      Dakini Bliss is a bodyworker, Reiki Master,  Member of the World Association of Tantra Professionals.  For more information, contact her at www.divinetantrictouch.com.

    • Jaiya Tantra

      March 13, 2011 by mediaforce


    • Time to Transform your sex life with Tantra

      by mediaforce

      Most of us want a satisfying and fulfilling sexual relationship. However, a great sex life may elude some.   First of all, it depends on having an intimate partnership at all levels of our being. Sustaining a great relationship is the highest mountain to climb on this planet. Most people settle for far less than their ideal, but still claim to have a great sex life. Why this paradox?  Almost everyone in our society  has some shame surrounding the subject of sex.
      No wonder that we are fearful and shamed!  Although society has a great interest in sexuality (just look at the number of internet porn sites), actually being present with the topic is met with giggles or,  worse, just silence. It seems to be too frightening or challenging of a topic to be let out of the closet. We expect ourselves to know everything there is to know about sex, despite the fact that we have had no training whatsoever.   It is hard to have a healthy attitude when much of that experience is awkward and inadequate, and provides little interpersonal communication or accurate feedback. It allows no possibility of taking advantage of the accumulated wisdom of the ages.
      Our work is to bring this important part of our beings out into the light. To surround it with love, worshiping the divine aspect of our partner and seeing them as a mirror of ourselves. Thus, Tantra invokes spirituality. Tantric consciousness requires being totally present in the moment. This is a discipline that requires techniques and practice in order to be successful. Tantra is a science, in the sense that these practices can be repeated with consistent results. If you do A, B, C… etc., you will get to X, Y, and Z. The breath is the bridge or “key” to this realm, so breathing practices are essential in all systems of Yoga and meditation, and especially in Tantric Kriya Yoga.
      Another essential ingredient of Tantra is opening of the heart. Women’s chief complaint about men in relationships and sex is that their hearts are not open. In fact, all of the energy centers (chakras) in the body must be open in order for the maximum amount of sexual (kundalini or life force) energy to flow throughout the body. Once again, this requires techniques, practice and discipline for maximum effectiveness and is rarely a spontaneous happening – as we prefer to imagine.
      The benefits of these practices are pervasive and multi-dimensional. Tantra is accurately credited with being a means of rejuvenation. A fabulous sex/love life is tremendously healing for the mind, body and soul. It radiates love to your entire family. It is healing for society in helping to prevent aggression, crime, war, and the breakdown of the nuclear family. It is healing for the world in the realization that we are all one, and must care for each other and the entire planet.
      Most Western sexual experiences are episodes of building tension and releasing it, hopefully for both partners, in as short a time period as possible. One “secret” of Tantra is the practice of alternating stimulation with relaxation in extended periods of lovemaking.  Much more energy can flow in the body when we are relaxed. This is one of the reasons that a committed long-term relationship is desirable in a Tantric context. This kind of lovemaking brings one to an incredible intimacy through a relationship of trust and commitment.
      A central part of our Tantric lineage is instruction of the Cosmic Cobra Breath, an ancient technique that, for safety and responsibility, has never been written and is conveyed only by personal initiation. It is a powerful tool used for transmuting the sexual energy into a loving spiritual meditation. It has the important side effect of preventing premature ejaculation easily comfortably, and surely. This allows the energy to build to higher and higher levels. 
      Tantric love involves training the energies in the bodies and the intentions of the beings to a higher consciousness, thus  achieving an ego less state where there are no longer lovers, only Love. The culmination of these practices is a tremendously satisfying sexual and spiritual life and the relatively rapid, easy and joyful attainment of ecstasy, enlightenment, or what we call “Riding the Wave of Bliss” – a hypersensitive state of being which goes on for hours, beyond time or words, where every nerve in the body is vibrating at a higher frequency and the entire body and consciousness is in a state of suspended orgasm!

    • 613 878-8179 The Tantric Touch…Eye Gazing for Soulful Tantric Sex

      by mediaforce
      The simple, powerful practice of Eye Gazing cuts though illusion and opens the door to Truth. If done regularly, it transforms your understanding of who you are.  If this is the only Tantric practice you ever do, you can Awaken through it alone. 

      You may practice eye gazing with friends as well as lovers. When done before and during sex eye gazing can enhance your connection both sexually and spiritually, making love then becomes a powerful meditation.

      When we gaze deeply into the eyes of another, we can see beyond the physical and encounter their essence. After all, the eyes are the “window of the soul.”   The ancient practice of eye gazing is found in both Hindu and Buddhist Tantra tradition. This  path to enlightenment is a wonderful practice as it helps you to connect at the soul level.  You can do with your beloved before and during sex.

      Actually,  you may have done eye gazing naturally, while gazing into the eyes of a newborn baby or when you first fell in love. Even when you are in a conversation and maintain eye contact, you are doing a less focused form of eye gazing. Eye gazing can be done as a 1-on-1 meditation with a friend or beloved. It can also be done solo by gazing into a mirror.  Try to integrate it into daily life by engaging people briefly, in passing, with the intent that when you meet their eyes you will see beyond their form, into their essence. The benefits of this practice include becoming more present, opening your heart and expanding your awareness of the Divine in all beings.

      1.   The Heart Salutation…Begin this practice by acknowledging the Divine in each other with a Heart Salutation. Sit across from your partner and look into their eyes. Maintaining eye contact throughout the rest of the process, begin by extending your arms towards the earth, palms together. Then, inhale and keeping your hands in prayer position, bring them to your heart. Exhale, as you bow forward and acknowledge the Divine in each other with the Sanskrit salutation “Namaste,” which means “I honor the Divine in you as a reflection of the Divine within me.” Inhale, as you straighten back up. Finally, exhale as you allow your hands to return to the starting position, pointed towards the earth.

      2.   The Bubble…Now, create a bubble around you and your partner. Do this by waving your arms around both of you defining the shape of the bubble that surrounds you. Then gesture, as if removing an object from your bubble and verbally say out loud what you are removing from the bubble. These won’t serve you in this practice (the past, distractions, anger, worry, etc.) Next, gesture and state what things you want to bring into the bubble. These are things to enhance your connection (love, willingness, presence, trust.) At this point, offer an appreciation or blessing to the other person (“I honor your heart, which gives so much love to the world.”) Creating the bubble will call you into present moment awareness and create a safe space in which to practice the eye gazing meditation.

      3.     Share Your Desires, Fears and Boundaries…Once the bubble is created, share your intentions/desires, fears and boundaries related to this practice. First, one speaks while the other listens without judgment or commentary. Then switch roles. For example:

      “I desire to stay present, open and connect deeply to your soul.”
      “My fear is that I will get self-conscious and will start acting silly.”
      “My boundary is to stay connected to you, even if resistance arises.”

      Why boundaries? Yes, people often have resistance to setting boundaries, but boundaries are not walls, they are bridges. Bridges help bring people together. Intimacy happens when people have “healthy” boundaries. Healthy boundaries allow you to feel safe, stay open and be present. Boundaries are dynamic, so it is important to check-in periodically with yourself to see if your boundaries have changed. If they have changed, update your partner so they can honor your new boundaries. Here are a few:

      “I need to end this practice by noon.”
      “I don’t want to be touched during this meditation.”
      “I am committed to staying present in this practice. If I go into thinking, I will close my eyes for a moment and bring myself back into the practice.”

      4.    Eye Gazing Practice.   Once you have created the bubble and shared your desires, fears and boundaries, begin the eye gazing practice. Traditionally, it is recommended that you begin by gazing into left eye. This is because the left side of the body is considered to be the receptive side. Use a soft gaze.. Change eyes if and when you feel called too. Just relax, breathe and allow the experience to unfold. Notice what arises without judging it. Be open and curious, like a child.

      Do this practice for as long as you want. Begin with 2 – 5 minutes of eye gazing the first time you try it. Then close your eyes, go inside and reconnect internally for 1-2 minutes. When you are ready, open your eyes and begin again. Extend the time as you get more comfortable with the process. Doing this practice for an extended period of time can take you to new levels of connection. Set aside a time when you can practice for 45 to 60 minutes. Eye gazing is a great way to discover how open you are and to notice when resistance arises. If you feel resistance, allow it to be there. Feel it and see if you can allow it to melt away.

      5.     Share Your Insights.  Discuss your experience with your partner afterwards.   How does it feel to be seen? How does it feel to look deeply into another person? Were you able to see beyond their body and personality? Did you notice their face changing form? Did you feel your heart open? This is a great practice for developing intimacy. It can be helpful to keep a journal of your experiences.

      For more, call  613 878-8179…The Tantric Touch…www.divinetantrictouch.com