1. Tantric Sexercises…The Ultimate Workout for HIm and Her

    February 7, 2013 by dakini


    Western sex practices yield an average of about 10 minutes of bliss, according to a recent study.

    Yet, in India and the Far East, Tantric sex is practiced as a form of spirituality, enveloping its practitioners in hours-long ecstasy.

    Why not spend a few delicious hours riding the wave, instead of 10 minutes?

    Yet, tantra is far more than just drawing out the coitus process.

    Studies show couples struggle to reconcile their high sexual expectations with an inability to express their sexual needs.


    Today, many open-minded couples are banking on Tantric techniques to better these odds.

    Recently, sacred sexuality and the use of ancient lovemaking techniques have taken centre stage on the New Age circuit.   Tantric or sacred sexuality teachers draw heavily from the Tantric tradition, which has Hindu, Buddhist and Taoist influences,  dating back 8,000 years. Tantric sex goes well beyond the physical realm and, like building your body, requires technique, devotion and practice to achieve enlightenment.  Clearly,  it cannot happen overnight. But Tantric sex is not your average kick at the sexual can. The path to enlightenment is one awesome trip!

    While sexuality touches every part of our lives, this most pleasurable, life-affirming phenomenon is marred by abuse, exploitation and negativity, especially by Western religion. Tantra is the only spiritual path in which sex is sacred, whether in marriage or not. Tantra also runs counter to most religious codes by transcending procreation to an explicit search for enlightenment through hours of ecstasy. In Tantra, the sex act is  a natural vehicle for exploring altered states as well as greater levels of intimacy. Achieving a state of sexual ecstasy is also viewed as a way of communicating with the Divine.
    For well over 8,000 years, a sexually uninhibited culture was able to dissect its components so completely that you can actually build your sexual prowess as you can build your body or mind.  In so doing, you honour the Divine rather than worship evil. From these beliefs, we can today reap the rewards of incredibly satisfying and intensely pleasurable sex.
    Tantra is a spiritual tradition that embraces sex as a vital part of human nature. Margo Anand, a respected exponent of modern Tantric practices and author of The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, says Tantra originally developed as a rebellion against repressive, moralistic codes of organized religion, particularly India’s ascetic Hindu priesthood.  It branched out and influenced Taoist and Buddhist traditions and influenced Western religious history through the cult of the Greek god Dionysius around 2,000 B.C. Today, many people have been exposed to energy healing, such as Chinese medicine, Reiki, Therapeutic Touch and others.  Yet, except for the Taoists, few actually use the body’s most powerful energy centre, the sex centre, for the achievement of divinity, immortality and enlightenment.

    Orgasm on Hold...The chief difference between Western and Eastern views of sexuality lies in the goal-oriented approach to orgasm. In Tantra, there is no beginning or end to sex, while in ordinary sex, the act is finished with male ejaculation. In Tantra, the plateau of pleasure is extended over time by delaying orgasm, especially male ejaculation, in order to build increasing levels of sexual energy for both partners. With meditation, breathing techniques and ejaculation control practice, a heightened state of ecstasy is achieved.
    Tantra challenges traditional ideas and assumptions about sex. Genital-focused sex is viewed as but a stop along the way to achieving an ecstatic state. The importance of breathing and relaxation techniques, vocalizations, focus on certain energy centers of the body called chakras, as well as touch, all contribute to making Tantric is sex a more slow, meditative experience. Ultimately, it teaches you how to go from the explosive release of genital orgasm to the implosive orgasm of inner expansion.
    Tantric sex involves ritual so setting the scene for lovemaking is crucial. Candles, incense, scented oils, plus a harmonious, calm,  comfortable environment are all necessary. Devote an entire afternoon or evening to Tantric sex. Take time to really pleasure each other!  This is an ideal way to learn exactly how and where your partner enjoys being pleasured. By emphasizing physical and sexual pleasure, Tantra also helps people overcome negative cultural conditioning about body image and sex.
    Although Tantra challenges common ritual and religious views on sex and sexuality, studies show that the best sex takes place in committed, longterm, monogamous relationships. Clearly, a man would not delve into such intimate practices with a stranger he had just picked up at his local sports bar.  You require the closeness of an exclusive relationship to reap the true benefits of Tantric sex. As a single male client said recently, “When I first started to explore Tantra, I thought a few exercises and some meditation could help me boost my casual sex conquests and performance. But I soon learned that authentic Tantra is a lot more involved than that!”

    You must Sexercise to Maximize!…Tantrics use several key exercises to heighten their pleasure.  Once you see their relevance to human physiology, human sexuality and extended pleasure, you too may wish to give Tantra a try.
    In the book, Sexual Energy Ecstasy, authors David and Ellen Ramsdale say sexercises are designed to maximize sex muscle strength and control. Your arm muscles do their job well as you use them daily, but your sex muscles are rarely used, other than holding in urine or feces until you can hit the bathroom.

    The main sex muscle is the pubococcygeus or PC muscle. This muscle contracts at the rate of once every 8 seconds in both sexes during orgasm.  The rediscovery of the value of this muscle is credited to Arnold Kegel, a California physician, who developed the famous Kegel exercises in the 1950s to ease childbirth and stave off incontinence some women experience from pressure on the bladder during pregnancy. However, these muscles also have a profound effect on the intensity of orgasm for men and women.
    Indeed, Kegel exercises are a re-discovery. Effective sexercises have been practiced in China and India for thousands of years. The Eastern sexercises were developed in cultures that placed less emphasis on the genital orgasm. Currently, sex experts tout the development of the PC muscle and other sex muscles as a way to achieve, intensify, prolong and control genital orgasm in both sexes. Given our culture’s endless stress on exercise, it’s bizarre that exercising your sex muscles isn’t more in vogue.

    An Essential Find...Before you start your PC muscle workout, you must determine where this muscle is located. The PC muscle stretches between your legs, from genitals to anus. It is part of the pelvic floor in both sexes. The standard way to find it is to stop and start the flow as you urinate. Try it several times the next time you’re in the bathroom so you can form the mind-muscle connection. A man can stand in front of a mirror and make his penis move up and down as he squeezes his PC muscle. A woman can place a finger about one and a half inches into the vagina and squeeze. She’ll feel the vagina grasp it.
    Once you have definitely found the PC muscle, start with quick or short Kegel squeezes. Contract the muscle 20 times at about one a second or faster, for one set. Do two sets your first day. Gradually build up to 75 reps twice a day. When you can comfortably do 75 quick Kegel contractions twice daily, add sustained or long Kegel movements.
    Instead of holding the muscle contraction for a count of one, hold it for a count of 3. Start with 20 per set, two sets a day. Build up to 75 reps each set twice a day. Take your time. Avoid straining. The PC muscle is just like any other muscle. If you overdo it, it will become sore. A tightening of the muscles in the stomach and thighs may happen, no matter what you do at first. This is common. Once you have completely isolated the muscle, these extra contractions will ebb.
    Build up to 300 reps a day. Once the PC muscle has been strengthened, a maintenance regime of 150 per day in one 3-minute session should suffice. Make these focused, committed contractions, just as you would do for any other muscle you work in the gym.  You must relax between contractions or else the muscles will not respond as quickly. Relaxation is as important to your control as the contractions. If a man learns how to relax these muscles during intercourse, he can last much longer. Try to breathe in time with your clenches or count breaths. You may be holding your breath and not  realize it.
    Once you have mastered the squeezing, go to Step 2, the bearing down maneuver.  After first tightening, then releasing the PC muscle, push down and out gently as if trying to have a bowel movement. This is the same sequence you would use for sexual arousal and control. You will feel the action of your stomach muscles and anus as you bear down. These are called push-outs. After you’ve developed good PC muscle strength, a useful variation is doing sets of reps that pair long Kegel clenches with strong push-outs.
    Up Your Pleasure PotentialMen can easily add weight training to their Kegel practices! After achieving an erection, place a small wet towel on your erect penis. Move this towel up and down by squeezing your PC muscle. You can increase the size of the towel. Some East Indian Tantric males even use sandbag weights!
    These exercises often arouse erotic feelings, which is simply part of the fun. Whatever your approach, develop your ability to focus your attention on your sensations for maximum results and enjoyment. Indeed, you may feel waves of bliss that have nothing to do with your environment at the time. They are not caused by an outside stimulus. They are internally generated. You are awakening your natural inborn pleasure potential.
    The benefits of the Kegel exercises are numerous. You get more in touch with your genitals and sexual feelings, improve the blood flow to these areas and make orgasm more voluntary. Women can use them to firm up the muscles of the vagina after  childbirth. And Kegel exercises have helped many non-orgasmic women become orgasmic. Muscle strength, sensitivity and control gained through Kegel contraction exercises are known to make genital orgasm during intercourse or masturbation more voluntary and intense.
    Strong PC muscles help men in their practice of ejaculation control. But virtuoso status is only achieved and maintained by working out consistently. Once you get the hang of it, you can do Kegels anywhere. A solid practice routine takes about 5 minutes twice a day. The benefits will manifest themselves in the strongest, most intense orgasms you have ever had, especially when combined with building to orgasm and backing off repeatedly. This has even led to the much envied multiple orgasms for men!
    In the book, The Multi-Orgasmic Man, authors Mantak Chia and Douglas Arava summarize research evidence showing male multiple orgasms are equivalent to female multiple orgasms. The book highlights the male Tantric practice of stopping or changing sexual stimulus while clamping down on the PC muscle just prior to reaching the point of no return. If done close enough to ejaculation, you may experience the muscular contractions that accompany “contractile phase orgasms” without moving into “expulsion phase orgasm.” Expulsion-phase orgasm is accompanied by ejaculation and the subsequent loss of your erection, while contractile-phase orgasm is accompanied by the normal feelings of “cumming” (including spasmodic PC muscle contractions) without ejaculation and loss of erection.
    Over the course of a lovemaking or masturbation session, men “peak” to this contractile phase orgasm many times.  After experiencing each orgasm, a man pauses for a few seconds, then resumes the stimulation in which he was engaged.

    Breathe and Concentrate…In honouring Tantric teachings, this book first discusses how to breathe. By breathing deeply and regularly (not hyperventilating), you can gain more control over your orgasm and enhance your ability to balance on that thin line between the contractile phase of male orgasm and the expulsion phase, without teetering over the edge.
    This breathing exercise can enhance your sex workout:
    1. Sit on a chair with your back straight, your feet touching the floor about shoulder-width apart.
    2. Place your hands over your navel, relax your shoulders.
    3. Inhale though your nose and feel your lower abdomen expand at the navel area (below and around it) so that it bulges outward. Your diaphragm will also descend.
    4. Keeping your chest relaxed, exhale with some force to pull the lower abdomen back in, as if you were pulling your navel back toward your spine. Also feel your penis and testicles pull up.
    5. Repeat steps (3)and (4) 20 -30 times.
    Concentration is the backbone of most Tantric rituals. When mastering the art of concentrating, you also foster the vital  ability to direct attention to your partner.
    To focus your attention on the task at hand, the authors suggest the following:
    1. Slowly inhale (expanding your stomach) and exhale (flattening your stomach). Count each complete inhalation and exhalation as one breath.
    2.  Continue breathing from the belly and counting from one to 100, thinking only about your breathing.
    3.  If you notice your mind has strayed, start again.
    4.  Practice this exercise twice a day until you can count to 100 with ease.

    Practice and Beyond…Next the authors suggest you incorporate these exercises in practice masturbation sessions to bring yourself close to the brink and then back off. Repeat the process as much as you want until you experience exactly how breathing, relaxation and PC muscle contracting let you experience the non-ejaculatory orgasm.
    If you can achieve contractile-phase orgasms twice or more in a masturbation session without loss of erection, you have become what many deem the impossible…a multi-orgasmic male!
    Now you are ready for your partner. The only difference is that with a partner you generally stop thrusting, or ask her  to slow down or stop whatever she’s doing, rather then slow down or stop your own hand.
    The authors suggest that if regular intercourse is going to be part of this start/stop initiation into male multiple orgasms, it’s wise for the woman to experience an orgasm or two first. That way, the stopping/starting doesn’t drive her to fish out her vibrator from the night stand. Besides, intercourse tends to be far more pleasurable for women after a couple of orgasms.

    Any healthy, loving, sexually liberated couple can freely experiment with Tantra. The path to enlightenment is a long, pleasure-filled journey, so enjoy every delightful moment.  After all, you only live once!
    Tantric sex is filled with ritual, massage and special exercises for both men and women. Sexual conquests aside, men, the heart is the first muscle essential for great sex. Truly, sex is an art that does begin in the heart. Skill, practice, awareness and open-mindedness all work to seal your success in Tantra.
    If you want to further explore sexual enlightenment, the following resources may help.


    • Ancient Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy (Higher Love Video Series, Tantra.com)
    • Fire on the Mountain: Male Genital Massage (Joseph Kramer Productions)
    • How to Female Ejaculate (Blush Entertainment)


    • The Multi-Orgasmic Man, by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abrams Arava
    • (HarperCollins)
    • The G Spot, by Beverly Whipple, Alice Ladas and John Perry (Dell Books)
    • Divine Sex, by Caroline Aldred (HarperCollins)
    • The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, by Margo Anand (Jeremy P. Tarcher)
    • The Pictorial Guide to Tantric Sex Positions, by Kay Parker (California Exotic  Novelties Inc.)
    • Spiritual Sex, by Nik Douglas (Pocket Books)


  2. The ABC’s of Sex Coaching

    February 1, 2013 by dakini

    When I say that I work as a sex coach, some find it a bit confusing.

    Often I hear, “So you must be a sex worker?” Not exactly. “So, what is it then that you do?”

    The recent film, “The Sessions” features Helen Hunt and John Hawkes as a sex surrogate and her disabled client.

    Sex coaches act as educators because most North Americans have received a zero to sub-standard sex education. People need to learn the vital sexual information that nobody ever taught them from a compassionate professional who understands sex and will not pontificate on a client’s sexual practices. That job is for a priest, not a sex coach!
    Sex coaching differs from therapy as it does not focus as much on healing past wounds as much as it does about creating your life in the present.
    Sex coaching can be very therapeutic, while addressing your specific concerns in a empowering way so that you can transform your life.
    Not all sex coaches are created equal as no standardized sex coaching training program exists.  Yet, some programs do train sex coaches in specific types of coaching practices. For instance, some coaches work hands-on with clients. They may sit alongside a female client and help her learn how to achieve orgasm while she self-pleasures. Some coaches lend more than a helping hand. Some practitioners called Sexological Body Workers use a highly skilled, hands-on approach to help those overcome their blocks , which can be very powerful for the right clients.
    Sex coaching has made the news recently, which is true progress…even FOX News is talking about sex coaching!  Sex coaching has been sensationalized and even ridiculed due to the fact that there is no clear understanding of what sex coaches do.
    Since Sex coaching is relatively new, many have no baseline information on it.
    People are hung up about sex and do not realize that they actually need to study, learn and be guided in order to blossom into the best lovers and most joyful sexual beings ever.
    Many different kinds of sex coaches exist.  I have developed a unique, organic coaching system based upon my 20 years of working with clients. Every individual who wants to seriously address their sexual issues needs to do certain things in order to grow, shift their thinking and transform into a well-ntegrated sexual being.
    I adopt a holistic approach to sexuality in my coaching practice. After, all sex does operate within the context of one’s life, and that context must be worked on, not just what happens in the sex act itself.  Thus, my work also encompasses your relationships, emotional patterns, body image, overall health status and sexual shame issues.
    My powerful work creates lasting transformation in my client’s lives. I enjoy helping women and couples transform how they approach sex, love their bodies, develop and fulfill desire and shift old, frustrating patterns. I strive to help them reach the deeper intimacy and nurture the pleasurable relationships they so richly deserve.  It’s a veritable honor to midwife clients through the extremely sensitive process of coming home to Self and honouring their deepest desires.
    If you are  interested in sex coaching, feel free to reach out by making that phone call to see if my help is right for you. If I’m not the right fit, I will direct you to the appropriate professional.

    Everyone needs help with their sexuality at some point but the vast majority will never seek out support.

    Will you choose to prioritize your sexuality and develop your sexual life? Or will you let it quietly fade into oblivion, leaving it alone to eat away at itself in shame? The choice is yours.   So, now you know that you have real options in order to develop your sexuality.

    Are you on the sexual and spiritual path?
    Does it include your sexual expression?  Devi Bliss is dedicated to helping you liberate your full sacred sexual expression.
    Whether you are married, dating, or single, I can help you experience more connection.
    I work with other sacred sex educators to empower your natural wisdom and creative flow.
    My heartfelt mission is to enhance your sexual intuition, intelligence and inspiration.
    I offer sessions  to activate the 2nd chakra or sex center, also the source of creativity.
    I offer private sessions for women and couples.
    I also specialize in working with artists, teachers and healers.


  3. Ottawa Divine Tantric Touch Massage Services…613 878-8179

    January 31, 2013 by dakini

    Ottawa’s Divine Tantric Touch Massage is a highly sought after sensual experience appreciated by a growing host of exultant clients.  Mere words fail to describe the depth and pleasure of  this ecstatic, erotic experience.  Just imagine profound relaxation amplified and spiced up by a variety of delicious erotic elements!   Erotic massage is a door to new sensual dimensions, to ever higher and deeper levels of epicurean indulgence.
    Tantra massage gained its popularity for its ability to deeply relax the body, releasing all the accumulated stress and strain of modern life, unblocking the body’s energy flow and gently calming  the mind. Thus, this sexually rewarding massage technique also possesses tremendous healing, restorative and rejuvenating benefits.
    A Description of  Various Tantric Massage Options follows:
    Body-to-body Massage…Erotic massage is especially appreciated by those true sensual connoisseurs.  After all, this luxurious indulgence is unparalleled in its ability to deliver the most delicate erotic sensations.
    Indeed, tantric massage is for those daring clients who wish to explore the unknown and push their limits in their quest  for sexual mastery and perfection.
    Body-to-body massage aims to arouse a man to his highest sexual potential by employing a rich variety of sophisticated caresses, teasing strokes and seductive moves. Purposefully building his sexual arousal, the tantrika will then direct the energy, aligning it properly along the chakra channnes and body meridians to harmonize its flow.
    Lingam massage…This session culminates in an intense but deliciously sweet orgasm  Clearly, after such an intensely arousing body- to-body massage, it is no mere relief.  Rather, it becomes a volcanic eruption of indescribable beauty and overwhelming power.
    Skilled in the art of authentic tantra, the stunning Massage Goddess uses her innate sensuality to enhance this divine experience. Most tantric massage sessions include lingam massage in the end.  Prostate massage can deepen the pleasure and accentuate it even further. Lingam massage techniques are as carefully designed as the whole erotic massage moves. This sequence of strokes and caresses for allow the continual build up of sexual energy without release,  When it finally happens, its power transcends everything the recipient has experienced before.
    Prostate massage...Lingam massage can be further heightened by prostate massage. The male Prostate gland is deemed to be the sacred spot.  The massage and skillful stimulation of it not only yields intense sexual sensations, but also leads to letting down personal boundaries so a man can experience profound bliss, joy and happiness. Such experiences are the deepest secret of the sexual arts and tantric massage.  Sex is not only corporeal, but also a lofty emotional and spiritual experience. This paradigm shift allows a man to better realize his life purpose. Prostate massage has been known to promote greater personal integrity, advance self-actualization, enhance well-being and boost creativity.
    Sensual massage for Couples...If you opt to enjoy a couples tantric massage session in Ottawa, it allows  you both to explore and expand the subtleties and nuances of your sexual attraction, deepening your intimacy and establishing greater levels of mutual trust and connection. Couples massage session may or may not include genital massage. It depends entirely on your preferences and willingness to experiment. If you wish, the tantric masseuse can caress and arouse you both, but then leave the yoni and lingam massage for you to do privately.  Or, if you are open to unrestricted experimentation, you can choose to have both you and your partner’s massaged. For the couples whose sex life has slid into decline and lost its raging fire, tantric massage will re-ignite the passion. You will both feel the heady excitement of having just met, as you renew and strengthen your intimate bonds.
    Male Sensual Massage and Sexual healing Session…While a growing number of women and couples have come to learn and enjoy sensual massage, it still remains most popular with men. More personal and sophisticated than traditional escort services, tantric massage is a stylish, sinless form of entertainment. Besides being a deeply intimate, highly erotic experience, no direct sexual contact takes place between a tantric masseuse and her client. Thus, there is zero risk of sexually transmitted disease or other unpleasant side effects associated with precarious escort Ottawa fun.


  4. Tantra Bliss Defined…a phenomenal formula!

    May 23, 2012 by dakini

    The Tantra Bliss Formula was developed by Bodhi Avinasha, Founder of Tantrika International and author of Jewel in the LotusThe Ipsalu Formula. Bodhi has been teaching Tantric Yoga throughout the world since 1986.

    A 5-step Daily Practice, the Tantra Bliss Formula stimulates your creativity, while helping you unite body, mind and spirit. By bringing you to a higher state of consciousness, it helps you transcend illusion and see what is truly real. It takes you from stillness and numbness to a state of Bliss.

    1. Activate Your Body’s Energy: To help alleviate the numbness and begin your journey to a state of bliss, the energy of the body must be awakened. Ways of accomplishing this include dancing or doing the Shakti Shake.

    2. Still Your Mind: The next step toward a state of bliss is to suspend your thoughts (stop thinking). Meditation, mantras and breathing exercises help you clear your mind of thoughts of the mundane, illusory world.

    3. Arouse Your Sexual Energy: This unblocks the circulation of kundalini energy, helping you achieve a higher state of consciousness.
    4. Transmute Your Passion: This process involves converting the raw power of sexual energy into spiritual energy. This helps draw the kundalini energy from the lower chakras to the higher ones.
    5. Enjoy Your Bliss: Once you achieve a state of bliss, bask in it for a while! Dance around in the warm sunlight or revel in feeling cool raindrops on your face.


  5. Tantra & Sexual Education…First Sexual Encounters Affect Body Image

    September 3, 2011 by dakini

    When a guy loses his virginity, he feels like a stud...not so for girls. A recent study examined 100 college students over a 4-year period who were virgins at the start of college, and how their perspective of their own bodies changed after sex.


    Sex is tricky!   You are at your most intimate in that moment. Guys report feeling “hotter” because sex is seen as a rite of passage into masculinity.  So, they feel like they’ve finally done it…now they are men!  On the other hand, girls may feel uneasy, guilty and even ‘slutty’. This may even unleash self-esteem and body image issues that have been bubbling below the surface for these insecure, young women.

    Other Questions Arise…

    Had these adolescents been sexually active at all?

    What happens if your first sexual encounter is with a same sex partner?

    What were the circumstances of the event?

    How does someone respond if they lose their virginity LATER in life?

    It might be interesting to study the physiological impact sex has over the course of all four years of college, the “then” and “now” of sex and body perspective.

    When it comes to actually getting busy, women  tend to critically evaluate their bodies in terms of the worshipped feminine ideal.  This is called sexual spectatoring, i.e. seeing yourself from the outside rather than focusing on and enjoying the sex you are having in the present moment.

    Indeed, society is constantly  bombarded with what media and entertainment deem as “hot or not” and now women are behind the camera comparing and scrutinizing their own bodies. Negative outcomes exist for boys too; they begin to get riskier and riskier the more sex they have. This could lead to multiple sexual partners and potential STDs.

    One way to alleviate such negative outcomes is to develop a sex education class that addresses the nitty-gritty of these issues. Close to 20% of the population struggles with body dysmorphic disorder, so dealing with it earlier is a good idea.

    As a woman ages, her body image get better, but sadly a man’s get worse. Tantra is something that makes everyone feel good about themselves and their sex lives.  After all,Tantric sex is good for you on all levels…body, mind and spirit.

    Tantra Coaching Sessions for Individuals…The practice of Tantra is not strictly for those in a relationship, and the words ‘single’ and ‘happy’ are not mutually exclusive. The ancient Tantrikas spent years in solo preparation to prepare for the meeting with their beloved and the Divine.

    There is much that you can learn and open to on your own. Indeed, some things require a time of solitude to blossom and mature, and you can always open to the Divine, which is certainly not a blessing reserved for those  in a relationship.

    Individual sessions are useful in a variety of ways: Receiving information, learning practices, becoming more at home in your body, finding support to sort through emotions with regard to a recently ended relationship, or learning how to attract a well matched partner.

    Individual sessions are also beneficial to persons who are already in a committed relationship but are unable to bring their partner. They can take many useful exercises and insights home with them to their loved one.

    What happens in an individual session depends entirely on what an individual needs to progress toward sexual and emotional fulfilment and Divine love. Although I may offer experiential exercises and meditations during these sessions, my approach in working with individuals is not always hands on.  The unique needs of my client will always dictate the approach required.

    For more information on Tantric Sex Education Classes, call Devi at 613 878-8179.